Friday, December 26, 2008

Phillips Burley Wine 2008

Phillips Burley Wine 2008

Ratebeer 3.34 73 percentile
Beer Advocate B+

No preamble, just straight to the review.

Taste +2

The nose is nothing but grain (barley) and alcohol. The first sip is a strong bite of bitter/sour fruits which is strangely addictive. The next flavour that follows is the slight bitterness of hops. There is almost no carbonation. Overtop of it all is a big mouthful of sweet bing cherries.

Aftertaste 0

You are left with this mouthful of rotting fruit that slowly fades.

Alcohol +1 9.5%

Ouch, one can easily drink this beer very quickly. You can taste the alcohol, but the big malt and fruit flavours make it more palatable.

Value +1

In terms of alcohol to cost ratio, this one can't be beat at $5 for 650ml.

Ingame Enhancement +1

After quickly finishing off this beer, the zombies didn't seem so scary.

Overall 5/10

This is a beer to have once a year, and that is about it

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Duckstein Ale


Duckstein Ale (Germany)

Ratebeer 2.98 42 percentile
Beer Advocate B-

I have often seen this brew in the BC Liquor stores. Never tried it, so here I go. It is labeled as a Copper-Gold Weizen (Wheat) beer that has been matured in beechwood casks.

Taste +4

This is actually pretty good beer. The nose is all sweet dark fruits, wood and malt. The first taste is not very heavy, but it does slowly build up. You can pick out tastes of peaches, light clove, wood and raisins. There is just the slightest ting of bitterness.

Aftertaste +1

The flavour does fill the mouth but quickly vanishes to leave a residue of slightly spiced apple.

Alcohol Content 0 5%

Value +1

Why to foreign beers always come in 500ml sizes? This one is not too bad at $3.

Ingame Enhancement 0

I must start leaving this category out; I often forget what I did after drinking. Lets say that this was my reward for rescuing a kitten from a tree.

Overall 6/10

This is a good beer; I will most certainly buy this one again. It has a good amount of flavour for not a lot of money.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Great Irish Stout Blind Taste Test



F: I have been looking forward to this article for quite a while; The Great Irish Stout Blind Taste Test.
M: For once I have to agree, but this by no means a complete test.
F: No way, we were only able to obtain the big three exported Irish Dry Stouts (Guinness, Murphy's and Beamish).
M: This test was done just like the Pepsi Taste Challenge, only we used beer. We each got three unmarked glasses and had to taste each one and try to guess the beer.

Beer #1 (Murphy's)

F: This one poured to leave a creamer, more bubbly head. It had the most malty sweetness, with a touch of chocolate and coffee. I rate this beer #1 and guess Beamish.
M: Tastes like a watered down real stout. I rate this beer #2 and guess who cares.
Beer #2 (Beamish)

F: This one is more chocolaty, a little more roasty and a little more watered down than the rest. I rate this beer #2 and guess Murphy's.
M: Yup, tastes like a stout. I rate the beer #3 and I guess you should shut up.

Beer #3 (Guinness)

F: This is Guinness, I have drank enough of these to recognize the very creamy head and carbonation on the inside of the glass. This is the most bitter of the lot, with the standard watered down slightly bitter aftertaste. I rate this beer #3
M: Thanks for ruining the taste test jerk. This one actually has some full flavour. I rate this beer #1 and just to piss you off I will guess Murphy's.

Overall winner Beer #1 Murphy's

Rate Beer 3.34 73rd percentile
Beer Advocate B+

Taste +3

This is your classic example of Dry Irish Stout at its best. You have to wait for this beer to settle after its poured. It give off almost no nose, maybe a bit of toast. The flavour is quite watery; but after a good mouthful you can pick up mild tastes of malt, chocolate and coffee.

Aftertaste +1

Goes down real easy, with just the slight lingering of coffee and chocolate sweetness.

Alcohol Content -1 4.0%

These are easy drinking beers for sure. You can't drink to many though; they sit like a heavy meal in your gut.

Value 0

Sadly cans of Murphy's are not available in BC. Guinness has the market totally cornered. This brew is available on tap at a few higher end gastro-pubs around Victoria.

Ingame Enhancement +1

An almost perfect evening. After chugging a few good stouts and calling it science, we headed down the LAN room for some side by side L4D action. The sound delay from each other's speakers was a little disorientating though.

Overall Score 4/10

These beers should always have a reserved spot in your beer fridge. Everybody has a friend that loves a good, cold Irish Stout. I you don't have one, stock your fridge with Murphy's and I will be that friend.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Racer 5 IPA and The Bailout

Flavius: I'm headed to Washington to get some of that bailout money.
Meterman: Don't you mean bail money? Why should the US government give you money?
F: I am just like the little three automakers only smaller. I have an overpaid CEO (my wife), a greedy labour force (my kids) and my end product sucks (my blog).
M: That's right. If you declare bankruptcy, I won't get the $100 you owe me.
F: True. Also the video store, grocery store, liquor store and my psychiatrist will loose a significant amount of revenue.
M: The similarities are spooky. What do you plan to do with your money?
F: Buy a Nissan GT-R.


Racer 5 IPA - Bear Republic


Ratebeer 3.88 98th percentile
Beer Advocate A-

This was another requested review by a shire reader. Usually I am not a fan on IPA's, too much hops.

Taste +3

The nose is straight up phenolic hops. The taste is just like the smell but more. Hops is the dominant taste, but there are also pine, raisins and prunes. There is only the slightest of bitterness; slightly less than grapefruit juice. Underlining the whole taste package is some malt, raisin and prune sweetness. There was no head or carbonation to speak of.

Aftertaste +2

Usually strong IPA's leave this nasty hops coating that you must floss away. This has none of that; just a nice hop residue that coats the mouth. It feels almost silky.

Alcohol Content +1 7%

Just the right amount to add a bit of bite to the hop flavour.

Value 0

It was above average price; I think about $6 for 650ml. But that is the price you pay for an import craft beer.

Ingame Enhancement +1

Just like the beer there was good balance. I watched James Wade and Dennis Priestly go 30 rounds in the 2007 Matchplay; very tense game. Then Meterman and I finished expert level on harvest; died in the rescue truck. It doesn't get any closer than that.

Overall 7/10 VERY NICE

This is one of the few IPA's I would get again. Not at all like other IPA's; a very good balance of hoppy bitterness and malt sweetness. Racer 5 should not be your first IPA, they take a little time to get used to.

Stiegl-Goldbrau Bier and Is Addiction Really So Bad?

Flavius: Meter I think I have a problem.
Meterman: You will have to be more specific; I can name quite a few.
F: I think I'm addicted to Left 4 Dead.
M: Well, has gameplay made you miss work?
F: Nope, I'm unemployable
M: Has gameplay affected your family life?
F: Actually my family likes that I spend less time with them.
M: Has L4D affected you real-life health?
F: I have lost 15 excess pounds because I play so much I forget to eat.
M: Has gameplay been a financial hardship?
F: No, when I play there is no time to spend money on internet porn and collect furbies on Ebay.
M: Well I don't see a problem.

Stiegl-Goldbrau (Austria)- Lager

Ratebeer 2.7 23th percentile
Beer Advocate B-

This is your standard European import lager. Surprise it comes in a 500ml, brightly coloured can.

Taste +2

Standard light lager with not much nose to speak of; perhaps a slight sweet grain/bread smell. The taste starts off with the slight carbonation bite followed by a nice honey/baking sweetness. It follows with the mild hoppy bitterness. It tastes a lot like Blue, only better.

Aftertaste+1

It slowly fades away to leave a fireweed honey taste that coats the mouth.

Alcohol Content -1 4.9%

This is not meant to be a heavyweight beer; something light to enjoy on the patio.

Value +1

Usual value (a.k.a. cheap) price; $2.35 for 500ml. Can be found in almost every BC Liquor store.

Ingame Enhancement +1

It was a shire zombie slaughterfest. Nightware, Meterman and myself did some serious damage on the death toll map. Still couldn't get past the two tanks at the end though.

Overall 4/10

This is a very uneventful, yet easy drinking beer. If you wanted to get a friend to branch out from his/her domestic lager rut, this would be the beer to try. I might get this one again for summertime if I got tired of Corona and lime.

Monday, December 15, 2008

White Bark Wheat Ale and A Shameless Plug

Flavius: We need to get more readers. Maybe my friends could plug the website when they play.
Meterman: Sure. Why not check your Facebook page for your friend options. Sadly, I don't think your Mom plays Left 4 Dead.
F: My Mom is my only friend on Facebook. Why don't you ever accept my invites?
M:No way, I have higher standards, but I am a friend of you Mom's. BTW she rocks at CS 1.6!
F: Maybe we should try the porn keywords for more spider-bot hits.
M: Great idea, it worked well for your Mom's blog.

White Bark (Unfiltered Wheat Ale) - Driftwood Brewery
Ratebeer 2.94 Unrated percentile
Beer Advocate ?


This brew is from the new guys in Victoria. This town certainly has enough capacity for new brewers.

Taste +4

This is a very nicely done wheat ale; very light with hints of wheat, citrus fruits and coriander. Beers this light usually have that yeasty bread taste which is nice.

Aftertaste +1

It quickly fades away and you can taste the aromatic barley and light orange.

Alcohol 0 5.0%

Enough said; at this strength you could drink a few and not worry about losing consciousness.

Value +1

It is similarly priced with other local craft beers; about $4.5o for 650ml. In this case it is a great deal for the flavour you get.

Ingame Enhancement +1

Any day that you can come in from sledding to shoot zombies in foot-race mode is a good day.

Overall 7/10 VERY NICE

This is a very easy drinking beer. Most likely I will buy this one again.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Instigator Dopplebock - A New Hope

Flavius: www.left4beer.com is now up and running.
Meterman: Spending $10 for a domain to spruce up your crappy google blog doesn't make these rantings any more enjoyable.
F: This new year will be better. We now have a great banner from T3-Neon.
M: Graffiti in a bathroom doesn't improve the stink. BTW, Neon your banner is very nice. I only visit this blog to look at your artwork.
F: This year we will get more subscribers..
M: Hah, maybe your readership will double; then you will have two readers. Three if you count your Mom.

Instigator Dopplebock (Phillips Brewery)
Ratebeer 2.97 41st percentile
Beer Advocate B


Phillips is a local brewery favourite. Their lineup is a good mix of standards and bolder brewing attempts. The nice part is that they often will release limited brewing runs through the year.

Taste +1

The nose has a little whiff of wet laundry. I had to taste it twice to make sure I wasn't drinking water. There is only the slightest bite of sweet licorice, malt and chocolate. The more you drank the more you could pick these tastes out. Imagine if you took a Hermannator and added water, that is what this beer tastes like. I had a slight cold so I had my wife confirm my tastings; she concured.

Aftertaste 0

It fades very quickly to leave a slight raisin and malt sweetness.

Alcohol +1 8.5%

You can't taste the alcohol at all on this beer.

Value 0

You can pick this one up almost everywhere in Victoria for about $4.50 for 650ml.

Ingame Enhancement 0

Spend the night in real life. I watched Terry Jenkins beat the Canadian John Part in the World Match Play Dart Championship.

Overall 2/10 Meh

It was a very easy drinking beer; kinda like a cup of cold tea. Say you money and buy a six pack of Hermannator instead. It does have a cool trailer though. I have a vague memory that last years batch tasted better.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Hermannator Ice Bock and Zombies Wedgies

Flavius: Left4Dead was frustrating as hell last night; I got killed by the tank 3 times.
Meterman: I thought you would be accustomed to sucking at videos games by now.
F: Not that, it was just like being in high school and getting a wedge from a football jock.
M: I can see the similarities: overly muscular person, bad complexion, not too bright and only goal in life is to cause you pain.
F: And why do you guys always follow two steps behind me during game play?
M: Oh, no reason zombie bait.

Hermannator Ice Bock (Vancouver Island Brewery) Seasonal

RateBeer: 3.38, 75th Percentile
BeerAdvocate A-


The release of this beer is a happy time for many Vancouver Islanders. Not only does it signal the beginning of the holiday season, but easily enables us to quickly dull the pain resulting from a visit by your in-laws.

Taste +5

The pouring of this beer leaves no head due to little carbonation. Immediately you drink in the nose of iced licorice. Once the beer hits your tongue, the flavours of dark chocolate are everywhere. Luckily it lacks the bitterness you might expect; this beer is nicely balanced with a dark licorice sweetness.
Aftertaste +2

After the alcohol ting fades, you notice more of those lingering flavours of bitter chocolate and sweet licorice.

Alcohol Content +1 9.5%

You can sure taste it on this beer. Be very careful, this beer goes down easy.

Value +1

This beer has three things going for it; its local, it only costs $13 for a six pack and you can get it everywhere.

Ingame Enhancement +1

Tonight Meterman was on diaper duty, so I tried my luck with a random L4D match. Perhaps I play this game too much; I had higher numbers that all three other players combined. Most of my damage came from friendly fire! One tip, if you have a shotgun; wait until the zombies are really close before you fire.

Overall 10/10 PERFECTION

If I could only have one beer on a deserted island, this would be it. Sadly it is not available year round.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Tripel Karmeliet (Belgian White beer)

This is one of those Belgian white beers that you seem to find almost everywhere;both in liquor stores and cold beer and wines. I'm a easy sell for an overpriced imported beer with a nice label. Does this really make me an pretentious beer snob? Perhaps you shouldn't answer that. I know the image shows this beer in a brandy snifter, which is not the correct glass for this beer. The glassware selection at the CLAN ARC lounge currently does not include a Trappist Style Tulip glass. This is more evidence in favour of the beer snob.. I'll be quiet now.

Tripel Karmeliet

Beer Advocate A-
Rate Beer 3.9 98th percentile

Taste +4

At first pouring there was a generous white, fluffy head that quickly dissipated. The nose was sweet like yeast and fresh bread; maybe a little honey. The flavour was classically triple Belgian beer: bright tasting, with lots of citrus fruit bite, green apple and pineapple. There was an above average amount of fizz, but this is normal for a bottle fermented beer. Overall a quite sweet beer.

Aftertaste +1

The citrus tang slowly faded to leave a clean residual sweetness.

Alcohol +1 8.4%

The alcohol was hidden very well behind the pineapple and fruit flavours.

Value 0

This was not a cheap beer at $3.25 for 330ml. It was sure good though.

Ingame Enhancement 0

Meh, Sunday had no game tonight, folded baby clothes instead.

Overall 6/10

I liked this beer. Enough said. If you want to find something similar pick up a La Fin Du Monde by Unibroue; this one is a Clan ARC favourite.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Stone Bitter Oatmeal Stout and Failure

Flavius: I didn't get the Tim Hortons job.
Meterman: Shocking. Lets try to improve your interview questions.
M:"What was you last employer's opinion of you?"
F:Very low, his last words to me were, "I never want to see your ugly face again."
M:"What do you see as most attractive about the job?"
F: The lack of responsibility, subervision and little accountability.
M:"What are your long term goals"
F: Try to reduce my number of court appearances.
M: I find it hard to believe you are unemployed.


Bitter Chocolate Oatmeal Stout (12th Anniversary) by Stone Brewing
Ratebeer.com 3.85 97th Percentile
BeerAdvocate.com A-

This was an impulse buy at a Whole Foods in Las Vegas. I am truly a sucker for oatmeal stouts and cool looking bottles.

Taste +4

Ouch, this is a full-on oatmeal stout; sharp bitter chocolate and coffee/espresso flavours hit you right away. The nose is of burnt toast and ethanol. It feels almost as thick as oatmeal when you drink it.

Aftertaste +2

Very impressive finish; once the bitter chocolate and coffee fades you can pick up hints of raisins, vanilla and so many more.

Alcohol +1 9.2%

You can sure taste it on this one. The flavour seems right at home with this strong tasting beer.

Value 0

If you factor in airfare, Whole Paycheck markup and travel time this gets to be one expensive beer.

Ingame Enhancement +1

This night was the monthly Clan ARC PS3 Gran Turismo and beers night (a.k.a drinking and driving). It was also a plus because Meterman didn't wake up nauseatingly hung over.

8/10 BOOM ZOMBIESHOT

This review is a little bit biased, stouts are my favourite beer. This one certainly made into the top five.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Rogue Morimoto Black Soba Ale and a Career Change

Flavius: I have decided to get a new job.
Meterman: I thought you liked working in the health care field as a high price consultant.
F:It gets a little tedious, caring for people.
M:Where have you applied?
F: Tim Hortons. It's closer to my house and I like donuts.
M: @#$#, Well let me help you with some interview questions. "What is your biggest challenge? How did you deal with it."
F: Getting out of bed this morning. I called in sick to work.
M:"Describe you relationship with superiors"
F: Back-stabbing arrogance.
M: "Why did you leave your last job?"
F: Restraining order.
M: This might take more work.

Rogue Morimoto Black Obi Soba Ale

Rogue is known for their much better than average beers. The XXX Stout in the ceramic, pot topper bottle is not to be missed.

Taste +2

This was actually quite a dark ale; I think it tasted more like a stout or porter. Like all dark ales, there was a pronounced malt sweetness balanced with a slight vinegar sourness. Hidden amongst the strong chocolate flavours were hints of pepper. The bottle said there were "hints of nut flavours", I didn't taste any of that.

Aftertaste 0

There was a nice coating of sweet malt and chocolate than vanished quickly.
Alcohol 6% +1

They give the Plato value of 12, which is about 6% alcohol.
Value 0

This was not a cheap beer, Rogue beers never are. Usually they are worth every penny. Sadly this one was not.
Ingame Enhancement +1

As always, any day playing left 4 Dead is a good day. Meterman and I finished the farmhouse finale.

Overall 4/10

This was a nice beer, perhaps I expected too much. Great excitement fills my heart whenever I find a good selection of Rogue beers. These beers are usually outstanding and something to be enjoyed. Perhaps the pinnacle of brewing. While it was above average; this brew did not stand out.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

La Binchoise Brune - Belgian

Flavius: Hey Meter, we got fan mail.
Meterman: Must be for me.
F: "Dear Clan ARC, I think your reviews are crap. You only give positive reviews;therefore, you must be puppets of the industry. I hope you catch a horrible disease for your disservice to your readers, your country and the world. In closing you suck. Love Anon.
P.S. Meterman don't forget to bring home some bread for the family dinner Sunday.
P.S.S. Flavius you double suck."
M: Aren't Mom's great.

La Binchoise Brune - Belgium

It is rare to find a beer that I don't like..

Taste -3

This beer tastes like burnt malt and BBQ'ed cherries. It had so much carbonation that I thought someone sat on my bottle and farted. Its nose was similar to composting apricots.
Meterman: It was like chewing on the salty side of a BBQ'ed steak.

Aftertaste -1

None what so ever, thank goodness. There was the slight tinging of a mesquite campfire.

Alcohol +1 8.2%

I had to find at least one good thing to say about this beer. You sure could taste the alcohol.

Value -1

It cost about $3 for a 330ml stubby bottle. Did I mention it tasted like toothpaste made with bacon and burnt hair.

Ingame Enhancement -1

I had to brush my teeth and pour this crap down the toilet. On the plus side, it did shatter my palate and Labatt Blue tastes great now.

Overall -5/10 Brewed with dead insects

I should have know that any beer with a bunch of mimes with stupid mustaches and green glasses on the bottle should be avoided.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Tree Brewing - Midwinter Spiced Ale and Anger Management

Flavius: I'm mad.
Meterman: So. Should this concern me, because I don't feel anything.
F: This COD is frustrating; I suffer from P.I.S.S.E.D Syndrome
M: They have drugs to help with that leaky.
F: Not that, this:
Painkiller
Instigated
Strategic
Strike
Ending in
Death Syndrome

M: Oh that. That's where he tubes you 5 times in a row, air strikes you, then calls in a chopper to chase you around the map?
F: Right. I even started an online support group at www.fear-the-pp-no-more.com
M: You really gotta start planing better use of acronyms yellow boy.

Tree Brewing - Spiced Midwinter Ale.

Tree Brewing products regularly finds their way into my beer fridge. They make good (not great but above average) beer at reasonable prices. You can also find a large selection at most BC Liquor stores.

Taste +2

A nice red/amber ale aroma of not much, maybe a little malt, a little fruit and a little spicy. The keyword here is little. The flavour is your standard spiced ale; clover, nutmeg and cinnamon. There is also a nice sweetness, almost like gingersnap cookies. The taste reminds me of mulled wine. It is refreshing to taste a little alcohol tanginess.

Aftertaste +1

The spicy sweetness coats the mouth and lasts for a while.

Alcohol 6.5% +1

The label says "Strong Ale"; strong is a relative term.

Value 0

At $5 for 650ml it is not the best deal out there. BTW Holsten Mailbock is on sale right now for less than $2 for 500ml at 7.5% WOOT.

Ingame Enhancement 0

Couldn't get on the shire; so I did the finale airplane map in COD. Meh.

Overall 4/10

This was nice beer. If you are looking for a change of pace check it out.

Local 1 - Brooklyn Brewery


No sleep 'til Brooklyn Local 1 is reviewed. This beer just looks impressive; massive 750mlish (1 Pint, 9.4 fl oz), 9% alcohol, bottle refermented and corked.

Taste +4

Once this puppy is opened the nose of malt, bread and spice is everywhere. The taste is just as you would expect; mildly bitter with a nice sweetness chaser. If you were to put it in a category, it would be a Belgian. But there are still the flavours of bitter apple, citrus fruits and banana. This brew is a little on the sweet side, but not too much. Be warned it is very drinkable.

Aftertaste +2

A short lingering of spice (cloves and nutmeg) balanced with the sweet malt that just stops at the right time.

Alcohol Content +1 9.0%

Ouch, I finished the whole bottle before getting to the first safe house in Left 4 Dead. You can hardly taste the alcohol on this one.

Value +1

I forgot how much I paid for this one, but I would buy it again. I think it came from the Strath or Penny Farthing.

Ingame Enhancement +1

This was consumed on my first L4D online co-op. There is great pleasure derived from blasting zombies when you can't really feel your hands.

Overall 9/10 BOOM ZOMBIESHOT

This beer actually drew my attention away from gameplay, that must mean it's a great beer.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Okanagan Spring Black Lager and Fast Cars

Flavius: I have got to get me one of these!
Meterman: Please don't tell me you are reading Tiger Beat Magazine.
F: Nope. Performance Car UK Edition. They are releasing a new Scirocco.
M: Now that is a beautiful car: 2.0 Turbo, 197BHP, 206 lb of torque, 0-60MPH in under 7 seconds. Where are you gonna drive that thing in the city, to and from the library?
F: I might drive up and down parking garages really fast.

Okanagan Springs Black Lager

I had high hopes for this beer. Usually Okanagan Springs puts out beers that all kinda taste the same, but something this dark is unusual.

Taste +2

This beer gave the nose a standard lager, with a little bit extra of dark roasted malt and molasses. The first taste was a very light hint of dark chocolate and espresso. There was just the standard amount of fizzy. It might be classified as a bold oatmeal chocolate stout for beginners.
Meterman: I think this beer was a huge let down. It was like getting a sports car and revving the engine. The first initial taste was great; hints of dark chocolate and malt building.. This might actually be a great tasting beer. Then you drop it into gear and the wheels fall off.

Aftertaste +1

Just a very, very light taste of dark chocolate was left, but it faded quickly.

Alcohol Content 0 5.0%

What is it with mass preoduced beers that only have 5.X%.

Value +1

A standard six pack of bottles is only $11.25

Ingame Enhancement 0

Played the COD after a few month break; got owned by Grandpa no less. Then it was the Killhouse map, had to leave. You either love that map or hate it. I shot zombies instead.

Overall 4/10

This is a very drinkable beer, just like everything else Okanagan Spring makes. Not that this is bad.
Meterman: This is a gateway beer. Get your friends hooked on this stuff and they will never go back to boring lagers again. Next you can move onto Young's Chocolate Stout and finally Rogue XXX Imperial Stout. Now they will have a raging craft beer habit.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Black Boss Porter (Poland)


Black Boss Porter (Poland)

There must be something about Polish beers, I have liked every one that I have tried.

Taste +4

This beer is black as black can be, almost as dark as my parole officers heart. A true strong porter all the way; noses of roasted malt, espresso and peat. The taste is what you would expect from the nose, heavy on the dark chocolate, roasted coffee and light bits of licorice.

Aftertaste +2

Nice finish of dark fruits (plums) and tingle of alcohol.

Alcohol +1 9.4%

Ouch, you can taste the ethanol on this one. It doesn't stop you from wanting to drink more and more.

Value +1

Sadly this came from the Bottleworks in Seattle. It was only $2.99US for 500ml, this was a great deal for the flavour.

Ingame Enhancement +1

I don't remember what I was doing while sampling this beer. But I do remember was that I couldn't physically finish typing of the review. I was flying Executive Class and had quite a few gin and tonics; I couldn't feel my fingers.

9/10 BOOM HEADSHOT

This is a stellar beer. If you like dark porters/stouts, this beer is a must.

Trappist Achel Blond (Belgium)


Trappist Achel Blond beer

I had big hopes for this beer. It came highly recommended by the guy at Bottleworks. Or maybe he said don't take this swill it tastes like expensive camel piss. I forget.

Taste -2

Now I remember what he said. This beer was like drinking moonshine from your uncles garage. Except in this case your uncle threw in a few tablets of bubbly Eno to be funny. It was fizzy, bland and harsh tasting. There was a surprising lack of flavour.

Aftertaste -1

It was too fizzy and produced trucker like belches. You do NOT want to taste this beer twice. Aftertaste was rather like sawdust.

Alcohol content +1 8%

I felt that I was obligated to say something positive about this beer.

Value -1

You couldn't pay me to drink this again. I only drank it because I drove it 300miles. I should have driven it back.

Ingame Enhancement -1

Blech! I never played this night. I was too busy brushing my tongue.

Overall -4/10

I doubt zombies would drink this stuff. I might stock a bottle or two; it might be useful to scare off the undead. Perhaps I may have gotten a bad bottle or just don't like Belgian Blonde beers, because it got a high rating on beer advocate.

Vichtenaar - Flemish Ale

Vichtenaar - Flemish Ale (Belgium)

We all need a good Flemish style beer once in a while. If nothing else, just for a change in flavours. Only once in a while. You can find this beer in some cold beer and wines around Victoria.

Taste +4

Very good for a Flemish, huge nose of bing cherries. A very deep sour taste is noted, but in a good way. The colour is a dark amber, almost red. No head due to a almost lack of carbonation.

Aftertaste +2

There was very sweet finish, lingering with bing cherries.

Alcohol content 0 5.1%

Not a heavy weight, but it has other strengths

Value 0

11.2 oz for around $4; not great but not great.

Ingame Enhancement 0

Neutral night, there was no computer animated violence.

Overall 6/10

This would be a great beer to have with a desert. Impress you friends; serve it with a fruit flan. Your friends will either think you are a gastronomic genius, or feel that you share similar attributes with that Flan.

Tin Whistle Chocolate Cherry Porter and playing the field.

Flavius: Left 4 Dead is great; you get to play both sides!
Meterman: Just like last weekend, skippy.
F:Huh? I got to be a Boomer and throw up all over people.
M: Just like last weekend, Chuck.
F: Under my feet. I as played as a Hunter and jumped on people and tried to tear their clothes off.
M: Aren't you forgetting the restraining order from last weekend.
F: Hmm. The best part was being the Smoker and wagging my tongue around.
M: Just like you are doing right now, witch.
F: At least I thought I was playing L4D last weekend..

Tin Whistle Chocolate Cherry Porter (Penticton, BC)

This is smaller brewery in BC, which has a lot of beer in most liquor and cold beer and wine stores.

Taste +1

There was a small nose of chocolate malt. The taste is just like the label states. This brew is a standard, slightly bitter porter with mild tastes of dark chocolate and cherries. There is just a little hint of sweetness.

Aftertaste 0

The only taste left was a slight dark chocolate bitterness.

Alcohol content 0 5.5%

Value 0

It costs about $5 for 650ml, so it is not the greatest value.

Ingame Enhancement 0

My parents were in town so couldn't play L4D. I didn't want to explain to them why their son was playing ultraviolent zombie video games soon after reading his little girl bedtime stories. But I did get to watch Terry Jenkins beat Phil Taylor on the 2007 World Matchplay of darts, which was the next best thing.

Overall 1/10

If you are into flavoured porters or want to try something a little different, this beer might be for you. I wouldn't buy it again.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Okocim (Polish Porter) and wisdom


Luckily Meterman is not here; he would have a few choice words for my latest post. There are a few good choices I have made in my life; going to University, marrying my first (and only) wife and ignoring that cold sales call about buying Enron stocks. Another smart choice is to always listen to wise men. This was the case with the learned shop keeper at Bottleworks in Seattle. He said I must try this beer; so I listened.

Okocim Porter


Taste +5

This beautiful brew is as dark as a forest fire night. A vigorous pouring leaves a fluffy head, but oddly there is little carbonation even though the beer tastes effervescent. The nose is all malt sweetness with mild chocolate and fruit. The taste is a little on the sweet side; lots of malt, with hints of peat, phenolic chocolate and an espresso finish.

Aftertaste +2

This beer leaves a very long, lingering malt sweetness that is very pleasant. It packs a goodness like a fine scotch.

Alcohol Content +1 8.3%

You can taste the alcohol in this one; it leaves the tongue and mouth with a nice tingle.

Value +1

I don't care how much this one costs, it was worth it.

Ingame Enhancement +1

There was no gaming this night. I just sat in the kitchen very contented and enjoyed my beer. After every sip I pondered various plans about how to obtain more.

10/10 BOOM HEADSHOT

Sigh.. Now I know how a zombie feels; an irrational and all consuming craving for a tasty, tasty treat. This beer shall haunt my thoughts, calling me from afar. If you have some, you might need a boomstick to keep me away.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Estrella, Ozujsko, DAB- everyone likes a threesome!


Flavius: OK Meter, we are running behind on our beer reviews.
Meterman: I say again, I do not want to be associated with this dog and pony show.
F: But this is the perfect post Threesomes and beer.
M: As long as you are not involved, I'm listening.
F: It's a commentary piece. Why to large international breweries heavily export bland, tasteless pale beers?
M: Because they travel well. If you have no flavour, you can't lose it during transport. Also televised sports addicted men drink this shit up by the gallon!
F: You could do a blind taste test with Budweiser, Labatt Blue, Heineken and Pilsner Urguell and I bet no one could tell them apart.
M: I'm sure some people could tell the difference.
F: What if you make eating potato chips and yelling at the TV part of the taste test?
M: I think you may be on to something.

Estrella (Spain), Ozujsko (Croatia) and DAB Dortmunder (Germany)

These beers all came in the same 500ml tall can format.

Taste +2 all

Standard pale lager flavour; mild flavours of corn, honey and malt sweetness. The colour of these beers would be the same coming in as the are going out. Lots of carbonation that left a finger wide head. DAB had the slightest hint of bitterness.

Aftertaste 0

Almost tasteless. The Ozujsko had a crisp cider-like finish. Now that you mention, it they all did.

Alcohol Content 0 4.93% (average)

Estrella 4.6%, DAB 5%, Ozujsko 5.2%

Value +1

This is where all these beers excel; lots of volume for pocket change. You get 500ml for $2.10 for the German and the Spaniard, for the extra value of $2.45 you too can enjoy Croatia's favourite beer.

Ingame enhancement +1

All three of these beers were drank during a monster Left 4 Dead zombie killing spree. Over 400 zombies were hurt during the making of this article.

Overall 4/10

These beers are all uncomplicated and easy drinking. If I had to pick a winner it would probably be the Ozujsko. Oddly enough they are all marketed the same way and to the same people: just old enough to drink, attend large scale sporting events or parties and don't have a lot of money. The cans are all similar, flashy and bold; Estrella is bright red, DAB has huge letters and is shiny, Ozujsko also huge, slanted, shiny letters.

Despite all the negatively involved in this article, they are all nice beers for the price. I would buy any of them again, especially the Ozujsko. They would be perfect for a hot day or watching televised sports.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Red Seal Ale, dogs and ponies


Flavius: This is our second requested beer review. I know this fan feedback will gain us more readers and later fame and fortune.
Meterman: I will not be part of your dog and pony show to get noticed. Your feeble attempts to gain popularity will lead you nowhere.
F: What do you care. Think of it this way; more requests means more free beer for you.
M: Now you are talking. WOOF WOOF

Red Seal Ale - North Coast Brewing

This is sure to be a good one. Anything my North Coast Brewing is a great beer. Other notable beers by this brewery is the old Rasputin Stout.

Taste +3

This is beer a little on the sweet side, but not too much. This dark amber ale (almost copper colours) holds plenty of carbonation and a thick head that never went away. Immediately there was a nose of hops, pumpkin. This gave a nice light bitterness that floated from the front to the back of the mouth. A well executed red ale; very nice balance of caramelized, malty sweetness and hoppy bitterness.

Aftertaste +1

These flavours are followed by a nice hoppy bitterness; slightly metallic.

Value 0

It can be a little hard to find in Victoria. I found it at the Spinnakers cold beer and wine in Esquimalt. It carries the standard imported craft beer price tag. A 341ml bottle costs $2.30.

Alcohol content 0 5.5%

A very easy drinking beer and you can't taste the alcohol.

Ingame enhancement +1

The actual acknowledgement that I am doing reviews giving this a positive score.

Overall Score 5/10

Despite the low score this is a good beer. It has won many awards, or so they claim. If you see it pick one up and send one to me.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Bah Humbug - Preparing for the Holidays

Flavius: ..this is the most wonderful time of the year...
Meterman: Caught up in the Christmas spirit in early November, you must have just been to Costco.
F: Nope. This is when all the winter and seasonal beers are released.
M: Leave it to you to associate the holiday season with drinking more alcohol.
F: Yup! My inlaws are coming! Screw the eggnog and fruitcake; make mine a 15 pack of Lucky Lager and a pocket bottle of Jagermeister!
M: ..Joy to the world the beers have come..

Bah Humbug by Wychwood

Usually anything by this brewery is a good choice. They also have some of the coolest bottles and artwork. I hope I get the t-shirt and beer gift set this year.

Taste +4

This is a great tasting, smooth beer. Very apparent flavours of malt sweetness, light cinnamon and dried fruits. There are subtle tastes of spices such as cloves and coriander. Very low carbonation, which is the English ale way.

Aftertaste +2

Lightly sweet and spicy with just a hint of malt. The burps taste great.

Alcohol Content 0 5%

You don't drink this beer to get messed up.

Value +1

This was $3.50 for 500ml from BCLS. A very good flavour to dollar ratio. I wish I had bought two.

Ingame Enhancement +1

Played GRID on easy mode. Some days you just feel the need to win.

Overall 8/10

Do not wait for this to appear in your stocking on Christmas morning. I know you have been a very bad boy this year (especially LK for knifing me). Just buy yourself one or two; don't forget to pick up a Father John's Winter Ale also.

Dads Little Helper - A Good Tale of Malt Liquor

Meterman: Oh no, what the hell is this! You brought malt liquor to the party. We are not wanna-be rappers!
Flavius: Its OK my hommie, its from Rogue. And yes I know almost every beer-drinking male has a bad memory associated with malt liquor.

Dads Little Helper Malt liquor by Rogue

Taste +4

This amber coloured brew gives off a nose of apple cider vinegar. It was a nice flavour, almost halfway better a pilsner and a full on Belgian beer. A slight effervescent sensation high on the palate gave flavours of malt, corn and light fruits (peaches). Meterman gave it a 5; Flavius gave it a 3.

Aftertaste 0

Not much just a lingering malt sweetness with a little fruit.

Alcohol Content +1 8.5%

You can certainly taste it on this one.

Value 0

Its a good beer but not cheap.

Ingame Enhancement +1

Anynight that you drink malt liquor and play GRID on PS3 is a good night

Overall 6/10

If you are trying to purge your mind of bad malt liquor memories, then this beer is the place to start. Just remember to drink only one or two.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Duchesse de Bourgogne and a taste for blood

Flavius: I have found the perfect beer. All these other inferior red ales must be discarded.
Meterman: How many have you had?
F: 6 or 7. I admit I'm a bit blurry.
M: Perhaps you should have waited until after work to pour all the red stuff down the sink
F: HUH?
M: OK Flav, tell these fine people where you work and what you are really pouring down the sink.
F: I work at the blood bank and currently I am pouring a bottle of Type O...Oh shit.
M: Bela Lugosi. Table for one.


Taste +5

This is the biggest tasting beer so far. The initial nose is full of malt vinegar and relish. Every single gulp reveals a new flavour: green apple, sour cherries, wine and mayonnaise. The brew provides a sensation like drinking sparkling apple juice. Taste after taste reveals something; you will not get tired of drinking this beer.

Aftertaste +2

Very effervescent with linger tastes of sour bing cherries and tart fruits. Then the aftertaste just vanishes.

Alcohol +1 6.2%

You can't taste the alcohol through all the other flavours.

Value +1

You could charge double for this beer and I would still buy it. At $3.27 for 330ml the price is a little indulgent, but you are worth it.

Ingame enhancement +1

You could telegraph the final score before I posted the enhancement factor. Just sitting at home, drinking good beer and playing GRID (easy setting) on Playstation; life does not get any better.

Overall 10/10 BOW-CHICA-WOW-WOW

This is a new CLAN ARC favourite. The flavours are very complex and will not disappoint. You must like big tasting beers. If you were disappointed by my unfavourable review of Lucky Lager, stay away from this one. These beers are at the opposite ends of the taste spectrum.

Lucky Lager goes well with horses

Flavius: It appears as though I am alone. Meterman has an objection about the content of this review and has decided not to participate.

This has been a beer of much controversy, you either love it or loath it. According to Wikipedia, and therefore unquestionably truthful, southern BC and Vancouver Island have the highest consumption for this beer. If you want to check it out for yourself; look at the online inventory at BC Liquor stores. I personally have never had one, so I got 'lucky' with the off track betting at the Tally-Ho and decided to try one. This betting happens to be the source of disdain for Meterman; not so much the horse racing part, but the gambling. How hard can it be to read a full page of racing statistics, factoring in the last minute changes to these statistics, take into account the horses' prior racing results on the current track conditions, and pick the top three horses to win? Or you could do what my wife does, pick the prettiest horse and bet it to show.

Lucky Lager

Taste +1

Call it what you will, but this is cheap beer. It looks cheap and it tastes cheap. No nose at all and only a slight taste of almonds. It tastes like watered down baby food quality apple sauce, without the hint of cinnamon. There is still the standard load of carbonation.

Aftertaste 0

Leaves a taste of slightly watered down honey.

Value +1

A six pack is less than $10, so it is one of the cheapest beers out there. If you get the 15 pack it works out to about $1.50 a can.

Ingame Enhancement +2

Extra points for this one. I hit an exacta while drinking one of these and it paid $28.70 WOOT. Thank you trotters at Fraser Downs.


Overall 4/10

Say what you will about this beer, but it is not bad. There will always be a place in your beer fridge for uncomplicated, cheap beer. If not for yourself then to serve to others, so they don't drink your good stuff. I plan to pick up a 4-pack ($5.30) from time to time.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Brother Thelonius Belgian and Blade Runner Boobs


Brother Thelonius
Belgian Style Amber Ale


Taste +4

True to the name, this is a classic example of a full-on darker Belgian ale. The flavours are full and intense with notes of wheat, berries and malt sweetness. Despite the nose of soya sauce this is a good beer.
Aftertaste 0

There is a sweet sensation that lingers and turns a little sickly after a while.

Alcohol +1 9.4%

Hold on tight, this beer gives a rough ride. You can smell the alcohol, but you can't taste it. Very dangerous brew.

Value +1

I have not been able to located this beer in Canada, but I would pay any price to get one.

Ingame Enhancement +2

Normally the score is a maximum of +1, but Meterman brought over Blade Runner on Blu-Ray. Drinking strong beer and staring at Daryl Hannah's boobs is as close to Nirvana as I am likely to get.
Overall 8/10 BOOM BOOBSHOT

You must like strong, full flavoured beer to enjoy this one. Don't drink on an empty stomach. On the other hand, Daryl Hannah's boobs may be taken with or without food.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Drake's Imperial Stout and Executive Class guilt

Drake's Imperial Stout.

F: As I write this I am sitting in Air Canada Executive Class. That's correct, I am on the party side of the curtain.
M: **Please note Meterman is not here. He always travels Economy with the rest of the cattle.**
F: One might experience a certain amount of guilt as they watch their fellow passengers stagger back to the room filled with screaming children and cramped quarters. This guilt is easily suppressed with a few complementary gin and tonics.

Drakes Imperial Stout


This is your standard Imperial stout; dark, complex and thick. Not unlike Meterman; except he is pastey white. I picked this bottle up at a Whole Foods in Las Vegas. It was an impulse buy, as my wife and I finished off the bottle of sparkling wine in our limo. Sadly this type of behaviour and indulgence is not a regular occurrence on the Clan ARC budget.
Enough about me and my opulence and more about the beer. Oh nice, a warm face towel just came by in Executive class.

Flavour +3

As with all Imperial Stouts there are thick flavours of chocolate and espresso. The real distinguishing characteristic of a good imperial stout is the lack of bitterness. This brew has that full imperial flavour, but lacks the bitterness that is sometimes present. There is almost no carbonation which is essential; you DO NOT want to burp this stuff up.

Aftertaste +2

It does coat the mouth, but there is no lingering bitterness; only sweetness. There is a slight phenolic aftertaste, which is pleasant.

Alcohol +1 8.75%

This is approximate because they use an old form of measurement. Be warned, you can not taste the alcohol in this brew.

Value +1

This brew was 2.99US for 500ml. Not a stellar bargain, but worth it for the taste.

Ingame +1

Actually there was no game this night. I watched Forbidden Kingdom (Jackie Chan and Jet Li) instead. It was a great Kung Fu Epic, so I guess it counts as a positive score.

Total 8/10 BOOM HEADSHOT

If your like Imperial Stouts this is sure to please. If you have never found a stout you liked, maybe you have never tried this one.

Brasserie Des Rocs Brune and no time for small talk


Brasserie des rocs Brune
Belgian brown ale

F: Well there is a huge back log of beers to review, so no witty banter from Clan ARC.
M: I cant' recall anything you have ever said that was witty.
F: Hey, I thought you were my friend..
M: I can't recall ever saying that I was your...
F: FINE, forget I even said anything.
M: I'm sorry were you still speaking.

This is a formidable beer to look at; huge 750ml bottle, its corked, and has a high alcohol content. This is one to impress (or scare) your friends with, but how does it taste?

Taste +4
Slight wisps of hazelnuts greet you as you dive into this cloudy dark amber ale. There is almost no carbonaztion but there a lot of floaties. Full palate flavours of light citrus,caramel and bing cherries. It is not often than I call a beer earthy.

Aftertaste +1

It fades too quickly but it leaves that nice bing cherry coating.

Alcohol Content +1 9%

Be very careful, this is a stealthy knockout beer. It is a big bottle, easy drinking, tasty and you can't taste the alcohol.

Value 0

A 750ml bottle for $7.99 US is not a great deal, but I have not seen it on the west coast of Canada.

Ingame enhancement +1

WOOT, I did better than most of the other players. Even in spite of the fact that I had a high blood alcohol content. There has been much debate about the influence of alcohol and gaming; both arguing its enhancement or detriment. I am in the camp of enhancement. The sauce can relax the twitchiness, improve flow and calm the frustration and anger responses.

Score 7/10

Not quite a headshot, but it is high in the rankings. If you can get this one, try it. You will almost certainly like it, if you can get past the floaties.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Nelson FacePlant Winter Ale and a new beginning

Meterman: Flavius why is every single light on in your house are you are cowering in the basement?
Flavius: GET AWAY FROM ME!! ZOMBIE!! WHERE IS THE AMMO.
M: Wait, I'm not a zombie because.... I have a medkit!! Here I will heal you.
F: Thats not a Medkit, its beer can.
M: Whatever, it makes you feel better, doesn't it.
F:Yes! Yes it does. Good you are not a zombie.
M: How long have you been playing that Left 4 Dead Demo.
F: Not sure, what time is it now?
M: Wrong answer, you are cut off. Even your oven light is on.

FacePlant Winter Ale (Nelson Brewing Company)

I like this BC Brewery, everything they make tastes great. Their Nelson Afterdark Ale is especially good.

Taste +4

This is one easy drinking beer. Just enough flavours of malt and brown sugar to keep things interesting. Only the slightest of hoppy bitterness.

Aftertaste +2

The sweetness lingers on and has an almost bran flake taste to it.

Alcohol content 6% +1

Be very careful with this one. The cans are stacking up on the table one after the other. This is a very easy drinking beer. Not the kinda drinking where you think it is like water, but the kinda drinking where you look forward to the next sip.

Value +1

For $12 a six pack, well worth it.

Ingame Enhancement +1

I cracked open one of these brews to calm my nerves after trying the Left 4 Dead Demo. MOMMYYY. I'm so glad I prebought; I plan to take the 19th and 20th off work.

Overall 9/10 BOOM ZOMBIE HEADSHOT

This is good all around beer, sure to be a regular in the CLAN ARC beer fridge. It might even replace the Holsten Festbock.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Double Dragon Welsh Ale

Meterman: I find myself saying this too often; What the hell are you doing Flavius?
Flavius: I have seen the prophet and I am building a shrine to honour him.
M: This shrine is just a beer bottle in a cut out six-pack box.
F: You do not understand the way of the CapFlu
M: So why is this person the prophet of beer?
F: He has sampled the nectar for over 3300 beers and recorded his tales in register of the Sacred Ale.
M:WOW. 3300 beer reviews on ratebeer.com is impressive. Hopefully this person is not from Waco.
F: Nope, lives here in Victoria, so I may have come into contact with greatness.
M: I am certain you have, as certain as I am standing here.
F: I don't get it.
M:Didn't think you would, review the beer you idiot.

Double Dragon from Felinfoel Brewery in Wales, claims to be the 'National Ale of Wales". I have been to Wales and never seen this beer; hopefully it is better than our 'National Ale'.


Taste +3

There is a nice mild nose of hops and malt. The brew tastes just like it smells and reveals a full mouthful and only a slight bitterness. There is a bit more carbonation that expected.

Aftertaste +1

The taste fades quickly, leaving a slight sharp hoppiness on the roof of the mouth.

Alcohol -1 4.2%

Oh well, you can't win them all

Value 0

This was one of the beers brought back from Bottleworks in Seattle. So sadly, I doubt I will be seeing this one again.

Packaging +1

Very cool double dragon artwork on the label, very nice.

M: Ok Flavius this is really reaching low, review on the bottle appearance. Next there will be a category for how it feels when you 'accidently' sit on it.

Overall 4/10

Despite the low score, it is a great beer. I wish I could easily get more.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Mill Street Coffee Porter and Celebrity Appearances

Flavius: Good news Meter, all our hard work has paid off. We made a guest appearance on another website, the Canadian Shire.
Meterman: You idiot, it can't be a guest appearance if you post your crappy articles there anyways. It is mostly your hard work; sometimes quality is not a product of quantity.
F: This is different, we make an appearance as hockey game announcers.
M: Does it pay anything? What do you know about hockey anyways?
F: No and not much, but we have to start slow. I hope our rise to fame will be a viral thing.
M: I hope your trip to the hospital with be a viral thing. By the way here is you birthday present; I got you a coughing bird from Asia.
F: I thought you would be happy about our increased exposure.
M: I am happy, happy that no one will actually read these articles. Just review the beer before I hurt you.

I have been very impressed by this micro-brewery's Wit beer in a previous post. It was to my great delight that I found this bottle in the back of the sacred CLAN ARC beer fridge, which was recently decimated by a playstation GRID and Beer night.

Mill Street Coffee Porter


Taste +3

This is certainly a coffee brew (porter/stout); black and thick with a nose of dark chocolate. The taste is just like the nose, bitter sweetness of dark chocolate with a tangy espresso/coffee addition. It is not a beer that you can drink a lot of.

Aftertaste +1

You are left with a very nice lingering of little bitterness that warms the belly. Is that licorice I taste?

Alcohol Content 5.5% 0

Not a heavy weight by any means, but at least it isn't light.

Value 0

I got it at Penny Farthing Spirit Merchants so I know it was not cheap. I forget how much it cost, I'm certain the CLAN ARC financial department is aware.

Ingame Enhancement +1

I actually got on the Shire tonight and racked up a 40+ score, mostly by pwning PK.

Overall 5/10

This is a good beer to pair with a piece of good dark chocolate; most definitely an after meal beer. I'm certain it would taste great with a tiramisu.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Mort Subite Gueuze (Lambic)


Meterman: I find myself saying this too often; "Flavius what the fuck are you doing?"
Flavius: With the down turn in international equities, I am repositioning my assests in tangible precious metals.
M: Stop reading from the National Enquirer and answer my question again.
F: I'm selling all my stocks and buying gold.
M: Normally I would say this is wise, but nothing you ever do is wise. This is painfully apparent because you are balancing two "gold" bullions in one hand.
F: These are the lightweight versions, I got them off Ebay from a dealer in China. They came with a free case of condensed milk.
M: I'm having second thoughts about trying your Key lime pie.


Mort Subite - Gueuze (Belgian Lambic)

Taste +3

This is a standard Lambic style, but well done. There are sweet flavours of apples, caramel and cherries. It has an almost effervescent mouth to it. This is contrasted with a slight, very slight sourness. There is an uneventful lager nose.

Aftertaste 0

There is almost none to speak of, except for a slight fizzy cherry taste.

Alcohol Content 4.5% 0

Meh..

Value -1

This brew was almost $4 for 375ml. Not a bargain at all.

Ingame Enhancement 0

I think I have to leave this criteria out, because I actually rarely play Call of Duty and review beers any more.

Overall Score 2/10

This would be a nice summer beer to try and impress girls. As I stare at an empty can of Holsten festbock, I came to realize that I could have bought two cans for the price of one lambic. That would have been a smart investment.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Great Canadian Beer Fest many many beer reviews

It is not often that the ARC boys get out in the sun, but on this occasion we sacrificed our pasty white skin (and livers) to attend the Great Canadian Beer Festival. With the allure of over 150 different beers to sample, it was an event not to be missed.
Here are the highlights and lowlights in chronological order. As the evening progressed the reviews became vague and possibly vulgar.

CRANNÔG ALES
Backhand of god stout. 5/10. I had high hopes for this organic stout. Darker than a cola, there were hints of chocolate bitterness. It tasted rather light for a dark stout, almost like it was watered down. It only scored this high because it was organic.

Bansidhe Organic Fruit Ale 1/10. Very sweet, too sweet. I thought it tasted a lot like Rockaberry Canada Cooler. Immediate flash back to high school trying to get @#$#ed up before a school dance.

YALETOWN BREWING
Dix IPA - 0/10 I am not a big fan of huge hoppy IPA's. This one was perhaps the hoppiest brews yet. You could smell the hops at arms length. There were also hints of rosemary and apricots. Quite sweet for an IPA. I think this is one of the beers I poured on the ground.


SILVER CITY BREWERY

Imperial Stout 6/10
This was a molassesy , sweet but watery stout. I liked this because it was a very drinkable stout with a nice fruity aftertaste.

DOCKSIDE BREWING

Jamaican Lager (Hibiscus) - 2/10 It claimed to be "A light refreshing fruit beer mixed with hibiscus concentrate from Mexico for its unique taste." Yup it tasted like herbal tea; at least it was quite unique.

NELSON BREWING
Nelson after Dark 4/10 I have seen this beer in the liquor store so I wanted to try it. It was your standard dark ale, a little on the mild chocolaty side but very tasty. Extra points for being organic. I might pick up a six pack of this one.

WILD ROSE BREWERY

Velvet Fog Wheat Beer -1/10. Nice, gimmicky name but a total let down. This is a very, very light summer sipping beer. I imagine this is what Elk piss tastes like. This is the second beer I poured out.

Port-infused Oatmeal Stout 6/10 - This was one of the tastiest beers at the festival. This was your standard, hearty stout with mild espresso notes. After the latte bitterness left there was this sweet fruitiness of a quality tawny port. This was not a quick drinking beer; it was something to be savoured and the flavours pondered.

BARON BREWING

Baron über-Weisse 4/10 Ouch this was a strong tasting beer, standard wheat doppelbock. Huge flavours of malt, bananas and almonds. At 8.2% you could taste the alcohol.

LOST COAST BREWERY

Great White Wit 3/10 - There was a long line up for this brewery, which is usually a sign of quality beer. Nothing special here; standard white beer with a clean taste with lots of fruit flavours. A little too bubbly for me. Notes of apricot with no aftertaste. I think the line ups were due to slow service.

Tangerine Wheat Ale 4/10 Just like it sounds, a light crisp beer with flavours of tangerine. Surprisingly not too sweet.


PIKE BREWERY

XXXXX Stout 7/10
Now this is a stout: thick like motor oil, smooth like a velvet couch with flavours of espresso, chocolate and licorice. One of the highlights of the festival. You can get this one in the cold beer and wines occasionally.

At this point our notes become illegible and are stained with beer. The world is moving a little fast, or are we moving a little slow. But there are two more that I can recall from memory.

MILL STREET BREWERY
Belgian Wit 8/10 This was one of the highlights and its taste is still memorable. Far from a standard light white beer, very complex flavours of fruits, almonds and clover. I remember hearing that they carry this beer at the 6 mile pub cold beer and wine; it is tempting to drive 30 minutes to get a six pack.

I think I tried the other two beers from this brewery. They were also good but not memorable.
Very slick website.

ROGUE BREWERY
Chipotle -4(negative)/10 - Just just like it sounds, beer with hot peppers in it. I lost my glassful after I checked my watch. I'm sure I kicked the glass from Meterman's hand. I can't imagine they get a lot of repeat business for this beer.
The rest of the beers from this brewery are highly recommended.

Things fall apart after this. The last thing I can recall is having boat races with Unibroue (bad idea). Then using my Swiss army knife to liberate a beer sign to give to some guy in a wheelchair.

With all drinking stories there are usually bad choices made. My bad choice was to eat at the Garrick Head Pub; the greasy fries came back to visit me at 4am.






Monday, September 1, 2008

Flavius Visits Nirvana

Flavius: I am a changed man, I have visited sacred ground.
Meterman: I thought you gave up on traveling to the Middle East.
F: I have seen it my child, and it moved me.
M: Where? Meca, Stonehenge, Assisi, Hooters?
F: Better, Bottleworks in Seattle.
M: Your life altering moment occured at a cold beer and wine store?
F: They stocked several hundred different kinds of beer! Observe the contents of the inviolable beer fridge.
--Fridge door opens.. Eerie, bright light emerges... Distant angelic voices start to sing..
M: Praise be unto
Silenus! I BELIEVE!! Which one is first!

Troubadour Obscura - Mild Stout from Belgium

Taste +4

This dark amber stout first hits you with the slightest nose of quality Tequila. The flavours of roasted malts, chocolate and mulling spices immediately jump onto your tongue. Every sip adds more flavours to the mix (anise, licorice, plums..)

Aftertaste +1

The bitterness quickly vanishes and leaves a sweet spiciness.

Alcohol +1 8.2%

This is no lightweight beer, luckily it is a small bottle.

Value 0

While it is a great beer, the fact that I have to drive over 300km to find one makes it not cheap. That goodness I bought two.

Ingame Enhancement -1

Couldn't get on the shire again tonight, so I had to play with myself.

Overall 5/10

This is a great beer; If you can get your hands on some.



Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Flavius Goes on Vacation



F: Meter I am so excited, I'm going on vacation to a Female erotic themed island.
M: Ha, I can't believed you fell for the oldest travel joke around. The island is pronounced LezBoss and it is only a petrified forest.
F: Dang, maybe I should stay home, I never have a pleasant vacation.
M: It is always your own fault; last time you wore your I Plane NY T-shirt to the Airport!
F: I thought it would lighten the mood.
M: And never bring potpourri in your carry-on luggage.
F: I see your point, and don't say "drug mule" as your occupation.
M: Right. When you are being searched up the Hershey trail don't whistle U2 songs.
F: Which ones, "Still haven't found what you are looking for" or "Where the streets have no names"?
M: Neither and don't sing "The boys are back in town" either.
F: Maybe I should stick to beer reviews.

STAROPOLSKIE ZLOTE

This beer surprised me. Usually I am not keen about foreign light beers, but this one was unusually good. Produced by the Staropolski Brewery in Poland, this brew claims to contain organically grown ingredients. I'm not sure if that is true, because it says "BS" on the label.

M: Dude, they do not alter the logo with the other translations, Browar Staropolski.

Taste +4

As I said before, it is very light lasting, but not too light. Flavours of honey, mandarin oranges and other citrus fruit are plentiful. There is no bitterness at all.

Aftertaste +2

A full mouthful leaves a very slight tanginess that quickly vanishes.

Alcohol 6% +1

Hardly noticeable at all.

Value +1

This is one nice beer; 500ml for $2.20 at BCLS.

Ingame enhancement +1

We never played Call of Duty this night. I did manage to beat Meterman at Gran Turismo Prologue. Anytime I beat Meterman is a good day.

Total 9/10 BOOM HEADSHOT

This beer almost gets top marks. The more I think about this beer, the more I want to go and have one right now. Certainly one to keep in your fridge to impress friends. If your friends are not impressed by this beer, get new friends. Keep the beer.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Getting Smart with 3 Beers

F: Meterman I grow weary of you and your supposed superior intellect.
M: Compared to you it is not supposed.
F: Ah, I actually comprehended that statement, you melancholy weasel.
M: Jumping Jimmy Christmas, what did you take.
F: A whole handful of nootropics: Piracetam, DMAE, Ginkgo biloba and Phosphatidylserine.
M: Satan's bunions! They must be working even your speech has hyperlinks.
F: Cower in fear before the wrath of my enhanced lexicon. I can perceive my cognitive ability expanding like a cosmic big bang.
M: Stephen Hawking would be so proud, how long is this going to last?
F: Based upon my genetic enzymatic metabolism potential and dose, about 2 hours.
M: That might be too long. Why don't you review these latest beers, they are a request from Painkiller.
F: I shall provide my authoritative perspective about these fine ales influenced by the erstwhile English Colonial Empire.
M: Where are you getting all these words, you got a thesaurus over there?
F: I imbibed this prolific lexicon through passive audio stimulation.
M: eh?
F: I listen to Rex Murphy on CBC while waiting at my therapist's office
M: Start the beer reviews Einstein.
F: Actually it was his wife.

Phillips Black Toque IPA

This one of three India Pale Ales that the Phillips Brewery produces. I think they all taste very similar.

Taste +1

This one is heavy on the hoppy side, although not as pronounced as the other two IPA's. There is a hoppy bitterness that coats the mouth, but it is nicely balanced by a light molasses sweetness.
There are mild flavours of bing cherries.

Aftertaste -1

The residual bitterness makes you want to go and brush your teeth

Value 0

I wouldn't go out and buy this beer again. Its just under $5 for 650ml.

Alcohol Content +1 6.5%

If you can't say anything nice... In this case I can, it is over 6%.

Ingame Enhancement -1

This brew kept me wincing at the bitterness and caused me to lose flow.

0/10 Pwnage not in a good way

This one is sure to be a cult beer favourite. If you want to try it at home; mix any hoppy IPA half and half with Herman's Dark Lager. Or better still; drink the Hermans and pour the IPA into your plant.

Phillips Original IPA and Amnesiac Double IPA

These two will be reviewed together because the tastes are so close.

Taste 0

Too hoppy to be enjoyable. The smell of this one hits you six inches before the fluid splashes over your tongue.

M: I bet you know that feeling.
F: Hey check under your feet.
M:Below me?
F: Exactly

Aftertaste 0

There is a long, lingering of bitter hoppiness that fades into apricots. This stuff coats your mouth like a dental dam.

Alcohol content Original 6.5% and Double IPA 8.5%! +1

There is no alcohol taste at all. Actually nothing else but hops is detectable.

Value 0

The double IPA is available for about $4.50 for 650ml and the Original comes $13 for a 6pack. I could think of money better spend in another aisle. Stock up on Unibroue 17 before they are all gone.

Ingame enhancement -1

I spent most of my time trying to scrape the flavour off my tongue with a razor.

0/10 Pwnage not in a good way

If you like big IPA's, then these are the beers for you. You might as well call them Original and Original SXT (Same eXact Thing). The only difference I could notice was the alcohol content.

F: Cursed foul ethanol, I feel a curtain dropping, shrouding my intellect in...uh the dark
M: Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems
F: NOOO..As a Canadian Canuck.. I eh first that such as the Iraq and the South Africa. We should buy them maps to make a better future for the children.
M: Much better.